YES!

Congrats to Matt MacDonald and Katie Neale who are getting Married THIS AFTERNOON.

God's richest blessings on your marriage. I love you guys.

We are but flames

I was driving home from a friends house last night at 1 30 in the morning, when I realized that I will never be let go of.
That morning I had met with a good friend of mine, Sandy who challenged me to think of what it means to be on fire for God. Why are we on fire at one moment and not the next? Should we always be on fire? We sat on a bench in a beautiful graveyard for awhile pondering, and discussing the idea of fire and what that is, and what it looks like.
After listening to my ideas and thoughts on it, Sandy inspired me with a new perspective. He alluded to the scene in "The Pilgrim's Progress" where there is a fire, and a man who is pouring water on it. This man is Satan, the Devil, Lucifer, whatever you wish to call him. Call him the ways of the world. He is doing what he can to put this flame out. However the Flame does not go out. That is because on the other side there is another man. This man is God. He also has plenty of names, Yahweh, I AM, Jesus. You could call him not of this world. He is pouring oil onto to the flame, so it grows stronger and glows brighter.
So here's what Sandy suggested; That maybe, at the core of our being, at the very core, Jesus is building a fire. He holds that fire, nurses it, and pours oil on it to intensify it. But there is this on going struggle between the fire builder, and the fire fighter. Some times the water is what we want, but really what our souls need is oil.
But here's the the amazing thing. God's got no give in him. He fights for us, for his fire without rest.
So as I drove home in silence last night it hit me. It replayed over and over in my head. All I could hear was, "I'll never let go of you, I'll never let go of you". And for once, and for real, I felt comforted that even in my weakness, my stupidity, even in this pile of worthless crap that I have built for myself, HE will never let go. Never.

P.S.

1) Sorry for the ridiculous final sentence on my last piece. Brutal.

2)Congratulation's to Adam Buchnea for exiting the womb 22 years ago today! Good work!

Minutes gone by

In what feels like minutes I will be back in Canada. It's actually days. And it's actually absurd. This trip, one that materialized out of small chit-chat almost two years ago now, has come and gone. I don't really know what to say, or how to feel. I am so excited to come home and see my beloved family and dearest friends. I am thrilled to be coming back to the familiarity of home, to see the sights, smell the smells, and hear the sounds of the place that formed so much of what I am. But there's just a little hint of sadness that I can't avoid. But that's the way these things work.

Really I just want to thank those of you who checked in on me, e-mailed me (whether it was once or forty times), read my blog, prayed for me, or even thought of me while I was gone. I appreciate and love you all.

I have learned more than I can imagine on this long trek, from England to Belfast, India to Romania, Israel to South Africa, Thailand to Laos, and of course Hong Kong. I saw amazing riches, and extreme poverty and everything in between and never, and I mean never, did I cease to learn. About myself, others, the world, my faith, and who knows what else.

This is all coming to an end from a proximity stand point. Yes I will no longer be constantly on the move country to country. However, the learning doesn't stop here. The journey continues, it changes and makes detours, but it always continues. It is a conversation that never stops. So this trip blog, in a matter of a day and half will go from a trip blog, to well, just a conversation. Just a conversation, with you, the universe, the birds and everything else in between. So feel free to stick around, I'm not going anywhere after the show.

Sleepy Songs in Hong Kong

So it's 1:34 AM and I'd really like to go to bed, I would. However, the man who sleeps next to me in our extremely crowded hostel (essentially 6 bunk beds in a very short and narrow hallway) has begun to sing in his sleep. At first I thought he was still awake and just lightly humming himself to sleep. I soon realized however that no, he is not awake, he is in fact asleep and he is singing. It also seems to be getting gradually louder. Oh the characters one meets.

An end to a means.

Where does honestly begin? Where does it end?

Recently I have been trying very hard to put honesty into practice in my life. By that I mean, I say what I want and what I mean. I have found that being honest from the get go of a relationship, or even a random conversation with Joe-guy on the street can be liberating and rewarding.

But at some point, in the practice of honesty, things have to get serious. Not just my inner most secrets and dreams serious, but a serious that involves other people. It involves changing the landscape of even already honest relationships. And that is scary.

In these times, when truth rears it ugly (or beautiful) head things will always change. Sometimes for the better, and sometimes for, well, the worse.

So my problem lies somewhere between speaking these truths, and not speaking them. When is it ok to keep truth to yourself? Is it ever ok? Or should I stop worrying about the end, and continue practicing the means?

This one makes my gut wrench.

Only steps away.

8 months ago it almost felt like this time would never come, it was too far away. But today I can feel it. It's all coming to an end. I always knew that a trip like this would pass much faster than I thought it would. But what I didn't realize is how ready I would be to go home at the end of it.

Over the course of the trip I have had tons of ups and downs, met tons of people whom I won't soon forget, gotten to know people much deeper than I ever had expect, seen things I never thought I would ever have seen, done things that have made my heart beat through my chest. I have learned more about myself than I could have ever hoped. I threw away my plans for my future, made new plans, and then discarded them as well, only to keep dreaming up new ones. I have given my self away, and stolen myself back. Realized that some things aren't as certain as they seem sometimes. Saw amazing hope, amazing love, and amazing faith.

And I loved every individual second of it.

But I am ready. I'm ready to leave this trailblazing life that I so dearly love.

Why?

I'm not sure, but it feels right. It's just time. So the countdown is on.

I'm coming home Canada.